- self-trust with regard to their own decision-making skills
- interpersonal trust with family members.
It can be difficult to move forward if you don’t trust yourself or the people who matter most to you. Change is not easy, but stagnation is neither energizing nor motivating. It is time to break the cycle of mistrust.
Five trust-building steps
- Be consistent: Make the commitment to be consistent when you establish an organizing or time-management system. If something has to be done on a daily basis, do it. Routines are habit forming when you are consistent. And when you are consistent, you are reliable and your family will learn to trust your decisions because they know that you will follow through on your promises.
- Set an example: Being a leader in your family means setting an example, no matter how hard is.
- Tell the truth: Admit to yourself and to your family when things are not going as planned with new systems. Just because you started with plan A doesn’t mean you can’t make adjustments or changes. It’s OK for children to see that grown-ups are comfortable making mistakes and are willing to make changes to improve things.
- Find value in each family member: Identify each family member’s organizing and time-management strengths. Be open to asking for and accepting help and advice. Family unity and trust is built when everyone feel valued.
- Untie the apron strings: Be there to guide and help when an organizing or time-management system is set up and avoid micromanaging once everything is running as smoothly as possible. Trust that you have instilled in your children the ability to trust themselves and their decision-making and execution skills.
© Image courtesy of Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
[This article, Family Organization and Time Management: 5 Steps to Build Trust, was originally published by Time Timer.]
I was lugging Costco groceries into my home the other day when the home phone started ringing (yes, I’m old fashioned that way… I still have a home phone). It was one of my sisters.
Me: Just lugging the Costco groceries into the house.
Sister: Urg! Worst job in the world!
I started laughing. I had been creating a mental list of “worst jobs in the world” earlier on in the day. These included: getting carpets cleaned; washing slipcovers; defrosting the freezer; packing nutritious school lunches that the kids will actually eat; cutting down boxes into 12-inch squares for recycling… the list was starting to seem endless. And then I remembered something that an audience member at one of my presentations had said: “My mom always used to tell me that I should think about how lucky I am to be able to buy food for my family, to have a washing machine (and not have to hand wash!), and have the opportunity to make for food for my family because one day when everyone has left home, I’m going to wish that I had my family around to share meals with and have a child sit on the sofa and share a cup of tea and a chat.”
And so I adjusted my attitude and got on with my day… those Costco groceries were not going to unpack themselves.
Image courtesy of xedos4 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
One of the recurring conversations I have with my clients revolves around their telling me how they wish their spouses and children would listen and help out when they say things like:
- Don’t leave your clothes lying on the floor.
- Don’t leave your stuff lying around the house for everyone to trip over.
- Don’t leave your homework until the last minute.
The problem with “don’t” instructions is that they leave the recipient with no solutions. They do not know what the person giving the instruction wants them to do. They know only what they shouldn’t be doing.
Productivity tip: Provide solutions by giving instructions where specific actions are required.
- Put your dirty clothes in the laundry hamper.
- Put your things away where they belong. If you don’t know where they belong, let’s work out the best place for all the stuff.
- Work out a schedule for getting your homework done on time. If you would like help setting up your planner, ask me.
Photo credit: © Creative Commons image courtesy of jamwhy.
Professional organizers often work with individuals and families who have suffered a loss. Sometimes we are contacted soon after a loved one’s passing and sometimes it will take many months or years before we are contacted. It is an emotional journey for everyone.
Ideas for honoring and remembering loved ones:
- Organize your photos and create a collage or photo book for yourself or for sharing with family and friends.
- Create a memory box with items that were special to you and the deceased.
- Create a keepsake quilt from clothing or have one commissioned by searching online for “memorial quilts.”
- Having family photos taken after the death of a loved one can be particularly difficult. Many photographers offer specialty services that honor those who have died or who are terminally ill. www.iheartfaces.com highlights the works of some of these photographers in their series Photographers Giving Back.
In my home, I display:
- an artwork created from printer’s blocks from my maternal grandpa’s printing factory
- knitting needles from my maternal granny
- desk stamps from my paternal grandpa’s family farming business
- a piece of furniture from my paternal granny that I have repurposed as a telephone table.
How do you preserve and honor the memories of loved ones?
Image courtesy of graur razvan ionut at FreeDigitalPhotos.net